The Helper

wife roleThere was a time I worked for the telephone company and part of my job included going from house to house in a community and obtaining verbal permission for plowing an underground telephone cable to the house so the aerial could be removed.

I remember this one house in a rural area. I knocked on the door and my coworker and I explained who we were and what we were doing. The lady said she couldn’t give permission and that we’d have to ask her husband when he got home around 6pm.
I explained that all of the aerial cable was being removed once the main buried cable was installed.
She still insisted that we speak to her husband. She could not give us a simple “yes, that’s fine.”
This woman was abused. Her husband controlled her every move.

As a pastor I have met many others the same way.
This is not what God intended!

It is written the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Gen 2:18

At the phone company I had a helper once. He wasn’t a slave to do my every bidding but my helper – able to do everything that I am.

My wife is not my slave. Her role in our home is helper.

But sin has taken a great toll on the household. After the sin of Adam and Eve God told the woman, “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Gen 3:16

This problem with sin has existed in every family since that time. It has caused many problems for husbands, wives, and children.

I remember my dad and mom and dad fighting one night. I had company for a sleep over. I was 11 years old. Not long after that mom and I moved out to an apartment and she filed for divorce.
Though both of my parents proclaimed to be Christians, I did not see Christ in our home.

The Bible says in Eph 5:22-29, Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

I never saw this in my home. My parents did not submit and love.
To me to “submit” does not mean to be a slave of someone else but to be the helper of someone else. A helper helps, not hinders!

Linda’s role in our home is to help. She has made our home a comfortable place to live. Through her relationship with Christ our home is a holy place to live.
Her place in our home is right beside me not behind me.

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